You’ve seen the quote. Heck, you’ve probably reposted it on LinkedIn:
“People don’t leave jobs, they leave bad managers.”
Cue dramatic music. Ba Ba BAAAAAAAA
But is it always true? Not exactly.
In fact, it’s so often repeated that managers everywhere now flinch whenever a resignation letter hits their desk, assuming they’ve failed in some spectacular the-world-is-ending way. Cue the guilt spiral: “What did I do? Was it the time I booked a meeting at 4:59pm?”
As someone who’s worked in HR and conducted a hella lot of exit interviews, I’m here to tell you: it’s not always a bomb going off.
Sure, some folks leave because management was… let’s say… a dumpster fire wrapped in a calendar invite. That happens.
But there are a heap of people handing in their resignation for all sorts of reasons and not all of them are tragic or dramatic. Some are simply that person has other things going on.
Let me give you a peek behind the HR curtain.
Here are some 100% real, totally valid, and not-at-all manager-related reasons people have handed in their notice:
- They’re going back to uni to study something they are passionate about. It could be psychology, art, or becoming a teacher.
- They’re moving interstate to chase sunshine, love, or a better coffee scene.
- They’re switching careers after a “What am I doing with my life?” moment.
- They want to work fewer hours and spend more time with their kids, parents, their cats, or because they just don’t want to work 40 or more hours a week.
- They got an opportunity to be reunited with their work bestie.
- They’re starting their own thing. Whether that’s a business, a band or a protein powder empire.
- They had a health scare and decided to finally write that novel or hike Machu Picchu.
- They’ve outgrown the role like training wheels on a bike.
These aren’t stories of failure. They’re stories of change. Growth. Life transitions. And yes, sometimes even boredom or curiosity and asking “what else is out there?”
But when we constantly preach “People leave bad managers,” we reduce everyone’s decisions to something negative. We guilt-trip leaders unnecessarily. And we miss the bigger picture: people are allowed to move on.
Not every goodbye needs a villain.
So to all the managers out there reading this, relax. You’re not always the reason. People leave for good, healthy, exciting, necessary reasons all the time. And that’s not a problem to fix. It’s a reality to accept.
You can throw money, titles, or ergonomic chairs at them, but if someone gets the opportunity of a lifetime (say, a chance to live on Mars?) they’re taking it. And you should cheer them onwards.
Because in the end, people are people, and they have their lives to live and it a lot of the time has nothing to do with where they are now but everything to do with where they want to be.
Thoughts?